Awakening the Silent Voice
Ohio Writing Project gave me voice. I was born to speak, but as I grew up, I learned quickly to speak only when spoken to.
I remember that summer of 1990 when I sat nervously in our OWP circle for the first time. I sat there in fear of sharing my writing. Despite my 38 years of life, I had not overcome my childhood shyness and the idea “never talk to strangers.”
I wrote about a seventh-grade writing experience and a counselor who listened to my poorly written outpour of adolescent emotions. Not just once, but on a weekly basis. That was my first and last attempt at creative writing until OWP. I couldn’t believe I shared this story with strangers.
My first real presentation at the end of the four weeks, made my knees shake, my heart thump, and my voice quiver. I cleverly built in a device that had my audience closing their eyes and imagining themselves successfully riding a wild mustang. I created an analogy between the fear of riding a wild mustang and the fear of writing for the inexperienced writer. I made it through the presentation, more importantly, they sat on the edge of their seats and leaned forward as if I was saying something important and interesting. (I never entertained the idea they may not be able to hear me.) They applauded a voice that I had never heard. That first four-week summer institute revealed to my audience and myself a fire that had been kindled since 8th grade and which was still smoldering after 25 years …all because of a Jr. High counselor. And…because of OWP, that passionate desire to write burns brightly today.
OWP, has helped me form valuable bonds that I hope will never be broken. I have met friends whom I would never have found. These friendships have lasted into a new millennium. I have spoken in front of large audiences of educators from the east coast to the west. I have spoken to two faculties that I have worked with in my years of teaching. I have gained a voice for education and the belief that if we observe our students and put ourselves in their places, we can meet their needs and teach them to exercise their voices through writing and sharing.
Being a part of the OWP board, I completed the journey that I began over 10 years ago. Because of OWP’s importance in my career and personal life, I knew there was a huge responsibility as a board member. I tried to use my newly found voice to help guide a very important program in a way that meets the needs of all teachers. Not just writing teachers, but teachers who can lead others in successful ways of applying their knowledge, experiences, and skills to benefit their students and others involved in making decisions related to education. I feel responsible for providing opportunities for teachers to learn to communicate ways to make education better through writing and sharing.
At a presentation I gave last year at our Clinton County Mentor dinner where first year teachers and veterans are recognized for their successful year together, I talked about the difference OWP made in my life and about my first presentation and the fear of speaking. I told them of my clever plan to distract my audience while I gained my composure to speak. I concluded my talk by asking them to close their eyes and imagine they are climbing on a roller coaster. I had them reach out and hold hands with the person on either side of them. I told them they were about to experience the ride of their lives. It is called teaching. “When I first began teaching, I believed teaching to be like attempting to ride a wild mustang, something you must do alone, but I no longer feel that way because of OWP. The mentor program, like OWP, helps you know that teaching can be more like a roller coaster ride.” I said, “As the coaster climbs to the top, the ascent is a slow and tedious struggle. But you know that you are never on a ride alone. There are so many there who are experiencing the same emotions. They are there to support you and when the ride begins its decent, your loud cries will be shared with those there with you. There will be dips and turns along the way. The memorable part of the ride is the thrill that comes from sharing it with others. You have bonded with those on board even if it is a brief time. Teaching can be viewed as an exciting and exhilarating ride, if you remember you are not alone.”
There were tears and hugs as people left the meeting. It reminded me of the last day at OWP. I must admit that during my presentations, my knees still knock, and my voice continued to quiver, but I have found my voice and to my surprise, people often listen. OWP helped me find my voice and form bonds. But more importantly…Ohio Writing Project helped me break the bonds that kept my voice silent.
